WILLIAM ARTHUR HOLMES (contact me here)

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Quotes from My Novels

Benny -- Lottery President

"I'll buy a new house. Already bought a new car. Oh yeah... and I'll be running for president."
"President? Of what? Your homeowners association?"

"I want a roadocracy."
"Well, while we were out on the road driving down here today in my new campaign bus, it occurred to me everyone has to follow the same rules of the road. Nobody gets a wider, faster lane than is available to everyone else. Roadocracy."

"To protect legitimate U.S. companies, I would enforce tariffs on foreign-made goods, including those made by companies that are American in name only. We need manufacturing in this country and citizens who can afford to buy their products!"

"Instead of voting for the person they like best, they vote for the one they think they have to vote for so the other one doesn't win. The reason an otherwise good candidate has 'no chance' is because the media decided ahead of time they had no chance, and the uninformed, apathetic voters go along with it!"

"What is it about Dallas and assassinations? Is that what they do around here for fun? We should hire some bodyguards."

"I'm not that smart. These other candidates just make me look good by comparison. Anyway, someone smarter than me would never run for president."

"I believe in life and all of its possibilities. Organized religion is the most destructive crowd-control device ever invented. It's the Taser for the soul. Hey, another good one!"
"What about terrorism?"
"Yes, religion is a form of terrorism."

"Why do I suddenly feel like lunch, and we're it?"

"Toby, my jackass brother, that's not a bad idea."

"I don't know who's worse, Democrats or Republicans. They're two sides of the same coin, if you ask me. I don't subscribe to the left-right dichotomy promulgated by the mainstream corporate media. It's all part of their 'divide and conquer' mentality."

"I'm against the pseudo-Communism practiced in the Soviet Union and China. That's totalitarianism. I'm against any system that gives anyone something for nothing. I want a democratic meritocracy."

"This country needs someone secure enough in his own mental stability to not be afraid of 'crazy' ideas. All the best ideas started out as 'crazy.'"

"The main problem with this country is that it is run by politicians. They start out as lawyers, find that unfulfilling, and turn to politics. We need real people in positions of power, no more elites."

"I hate guns, but as long as the technology exists, I intend to own and know how to use one to defend myself if necessary. And trust me, lately it's been necessary."

"Overthrowing dictators, or any government, doesn't have to be done militarily."

"Did you know that if corporations paid their fair share in taxes, actual humans wouldn't have to? No kidding! Run the numbers! That'll greatly improve the average Joe's personal economy."

"If products are made by workers earning less than a living wage, I won't allow those goods into the country. I will rescind NAFTA and all the 'free trade' agreements made by previous administrations. Such agreements only undermine the working man!"

"No one is better than I, and I am better than no one."
"I don't know who said it first, but I always liked it."


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