WILLIAM ARTHUR HOLMES (contact me here) WILLIAM ARTHUR HOLMES (contact me here)
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Novellas: 
Temporary Insanity Long before winning the lottery and running for president, Benny was living in L.A. working as a word processing temp. He thought his latest assignment was just another gig, never anticipating Venelia and the Dynamos. The what?
First few sentences...Benny Reed was riding the elevator in a building he had never been in before. It was climbing surprisingly fast. Too fast, he thought. "It didn't stop on those floors," he said, half to himself, as it sped upward. When no one replied, he glanced around to see if anyone heard him. Apparently not....
Lottery President For most people, winning $300 million in the lottery would be enough. They would retire, buy a big house and travel the world. Not Benny. He took the money and ran... for president. The house he had in mind was the White House. He didn't want to travel the world so much as save it from politicians. Retire? "I'll retire when I'm dead!" he said, not knowing so many people had that exact retirement plan in mind for him.
REVIEW: "A humorous, sarcastic and irreverent short story about an improbable candidate for the presidency of the United States. Rather bizarre ending." -- Larry
REVIEW: "This is a quick read, and it's amusing enough to capture your interest. I would recommend it to anyone who wants to while away a half-hour." -- anonymous
REVIEW: "I seriously loved this book. I read it about 2 years ago, I think. There was one part that was so funny, at least to me on that day, I could not stop laughing. I completely lost it. My daughter actually caught that on her iPod and I think the author was able to use it somehow to promote it. Now I am about to read the author's next book, 'Last Train Out.' It's been sitting patiently on my shelf while I finally finished another book." -- Doug
First few sentences...Buy it here.
Last Train Out Clay and his adopted daughter Jenna look forward to their upcoming "homeland tour" to Russia. His intentions are pure. Hers, not so much. After she goes missing, he learns she is not the innocent little girl he once thought. Not even close. His only hope is to find her and catch the Last Train Out.
REVIEW: "Learned a lot about Russia!" -- Don
REVIEW: "Last Train Out is very fast-paced, with lots of twists and turns. The protagonist, Clay, uses a lot of self-deprecating humor. A fun read overall." -- Lucy
REVIEW: "I like to read stories set in places I haven't been before, and since this one was set in Russia, it fit the bill in that regard. The story is fast paced and well written, with a credible plot. The author injects a fair amount of humor into the story, even when the protagonist is in a terrible fix. I found it best to read in a few days, in order to keep all the characters straight." -- Greg
REVIEW: "I enjoyed this book very much. It kept me guessing. My friend is reading it now and she says she likes it too." -- Jeannie
First few sentences...Operation Detour A beautiful young black ops agent on her first assignment tries to turn a complete stranger into an asset, just to prove she can. When he loses both his job and girlfriend, she thinks he's putty in her hands. When he decides to go out with a bang, she's afraid she's overplayed that hand.
First few sentences...Riva's gray eyes reach out and grab anyone careless enough to look directly at her. Her flawless skin almost glows in contrast to her luxurious black hair. She is fully aware of the effect she has on men and is not afraid to use it... most days....
Buy it here.
Lazy Pug Cafe The Lazy Pug Cafe was a dilapidated old farmhouse abandoned years ago. A massive, ancient oak tree, Ol' Lightnin', lurked out back while the house itself served as a sad but charming reminder of days gone by. Locals were grateful someone was finally bringing the old girl back to life. Come meet pugs Daisy, Chandler and Joey! There are cats and humans, too, but it's all about the pugs! Pugs rule!
First few sentences...As recently as a few months ago, the Lazy Pug Café was nothing but a dilapidated old two-story farmhouse. Set back just forty yards from the road, there was a beautiful old weeping willow in front and a massive ancient oak tree out back. Abandoned years ago, the old estate's only purpose lately had been to serve as a sad but charming reminder of days gone by. Locals witnessing its resurrection were grateful someone was finally bringing the "old girl" back to life. ...
Another Way Anti-corporate crusader Dobie Pokorny wants to save the world from corporate titans like Colonel Charonne. The latter and his henchmen are determined to stop him. On Dobie's "speaking truth to power" tour, he meets and falls in love with Kaylie while enduring attacks at every turn. She is out of his league, and he can't shake the thought "if it seems too good to be true, it probably is." Will Major Watson steal her away? Can they outrun and outwit Charonne? And, what's up with that little blue alien, Semmy?
REVIEW: "I can wholeheartedly say I have never read a book quite like this, at all. It's a zany tale with warm, wholehearted moments as well as satirical humor and a sharp bite. I loved witnessing the adventures of our flawed protagonist, Dobie, and his jaded but goodwilled heroine, Kaylie. Watching their love unfold amidst chaos was fulfilling, and I thought you weaved in the two characters' backstories into the central plot nicely." -- Caroline
REVIEW: "It's hard to describe, a concoction of fiction and genre that reminded me of Thomas Pynchon, Jennifer Egan, Richard Farina, Douglas Adams, and Donald Antrim. What they all have in common is a kind of manic, comic energy married to big ideas and serious intent. What I've read so far of Another Way gave me the same feeling, and I was really entertained. It's not easy to do what you're doing here: to make the absurdities, silliness, and tragedies of life into comedy. And, of course, the voice of Semmy [and his] wide-eyed interest in humanity, is both weird and real. I liked this a lot. Bravo!" -- Duncan
First few sentences...
