"Hey, you pugs! You don't need to water me! Especially with that!"
"It's not a tree's purpose in life to stand around being picturesque. Not this tree, at least. Maybe that weeping willow up front, or some of my old friends so ruthlessly cut down in their prime when this place was built, but a mighty oak like me... is... um... what was I saying? Oh yeah, a tree's purpose is to sink its roots as deep into the ground as possible, take hold of the Earth, and keep it from going anywhere!"