Kangaroos Attacked Me
by Greg* - [* not really]
There I was in Long Beach, California, having lunch down along the docks like I always do. It was a cool Autumn day, early November. I was watching the ships roll in... then I'd watch 'em roll away again. Whoa-wo sittin' on the dock of the bay...
Sorry. I can't get that song out of my head.
Anyway, I remember noticing several large wooden crates being unloaded from a ship just a few hundred feet to my right. I didn't pay too much attention to them, though. I was busy inspecting my sandwich, trying to figure out what exactly was in it. I could tell that the meat was ham, but the rest of it was questionable.
It was while doing this that I heard loud stomping coming at me from the right. Instantly I froze, stuck out my hands for balance, and looked at the ground. It was a purely instinctive reaction. We'd been having earthquakes lately, and I thought maybe the loud stomping was the beginnings of another one.
After I had assured myself that the ground was not moving, something told me to look to my right. Intuition, maybe. No, I remember now, it was the loud stomping. Yeah. Anyway, I glanced to my right ... and there they were. Three large (and one not so large) kangaroos staring at me, just a couple of kangaroo-hops away.
The one not-so-large kangaroo was shadow-boxing. The other three only sat there, balancing on their tails like they do, and stared at me. It was their cold, unfeeling stares that got to me. The way they constantly chewed their cuds was a little disconcerting too. But it was those large black eyes that I remember most vividly.
The little kangaroo was still shadow-boxing when the adult kangaroo closest to it suddenly stuck out its left "fist" and punched the little one, knocking it sprawling into a pile of ropes and nets where it got tangled up hopelessly within about five seconds.
Meanwhile, the three large kangaroos kept staring at me and chewed their cuds. It was do or die time now, I could tell. This sort of thing had happened to me before. Well, not exactly like this but, well, you know.
Suddenly, my wrist-watch alarm went off and the three large kangaroos leaped toward me ...!
[Stay tuned for next issue's episode: Kangaroos Ate My Lunch!]