WILLIAM ARTHUR HOLMES


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A random sample of dialogue from my work (refresh the page for a new sample)

"This dark force has manifested... countless times; given names like Necuratu, Beelzebub, Satan, The Dark Prince, The Adversary and, last but not least, the High Priest of Gray Areas, the scariest of them all to anyone insisting that everything is strictly black or white!"
-- Another Way
It occurred to him, in her case, squirrel might be what's for dinner any given night.
-- Another Way
"What's to stop me from shooting you and dumping your body in the lake?"
"Oh, I don't know. Common decency?"
-- Another Way
"If power is given to a bunch of goody-two-shoes idiots, we're all in trouble."
"Idiots, sure, but what's wrong with being a goody-two-shoes? Shouldn't everyone want to do the right thing? Shouldn't everyone at least try to be a decent human being?"
-- Another Way
"How is it even possible for two people to have the same dream at the same time... unless it wasn't a dream?"
-- Another Way
"Make him fall in love, silly."
"I am not a call girl!"
"You are whatever we need you to be."
-- Last Train Out
"Do you even know what your mother died of?"
"It was a long time ago. It's not healthy to dwell on the past."
"It was only seven years ago!"
-- Lottery President
"I'll buy a new house. Already bought a new car. Oh yeah... and I'll be running for president."
"President? Of what? Your homeowners association?"
-- Lottery President
"Wanna see something?"
"Not especially, no."
-- Operation Detour
"Do you fly to Malaysia?"
"No, but Malaysian Air at the next window does."
-- Operation Detour
"I will put you and your boyfriend on The List if need be. Either you kill him or lock him up forever, or I send in someone else who can. Is that clear?"
-- Operation Detour
"Release the American!"
"Which one?"
"The patsy."
"Which patsy?"
"The 'terrorist' from last night!"
-- Operation Detour
"Revenge, as they say... Oh, who cares what they say."
-- Operation Detour
"It's a very mild psychotropic."
-- Operation Detour
"Tell me again what your assignment is."
"I must find someone and... make him my b*tch!"
"Not your 'b*tch.' Your asset. Your pawn."
-- Operation Detour
"Yes, we are now part of a multinational corporation but have not yet been integrated into the payroll system. Frankly, I doubt our being paid is of much concern to our new bosses."
-- Operation Detour
"My wife was walking to the store on the corner for a pack of cigarettes when a speeding truck went out of control and ran her over on the sidewalk. If not for those cigarettes she would be alive today." In reality, she was still alive. The thought of her being run over by a speeding truck always just cheered him up.
-- Temporary Insanity
"I just remembered where I've seen you before."
"Look, it was just a party. Things happen. Don't hold it against me."
-- Temporary Insanity
"With that sort of upbringing, a pug just learns to roll with the punches!"
-- The Lazy Pug Cafe
"When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad. That's my religion. — Abraham Lincoln"
-- The Lazy Pug Cafe

The Lazy Pug Cafe -- As recently as a few months ago, the Lazy Pug Café was nothing more than a dilapidated old two-story farmhouse. Set back just forty yards from the road – closer than most out in the country – it had a beautiful old weeping willow in front and a massive ancient oak tree out back. Abandoned years ago, the old estate's only purpose lately had been to serve as a sad but charming reminder of days gone by. Locals witnessing its resurrection these past few months were grateful someone was finally bringing the "old girl" back to life.