WILLIAM ARTHUR HOLMES


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A random sample of dialogue from my work (refresh the page for a new sample)

"You're like a flower surrounded by... fertilizer."
"Um... no one's ever said that before. I'm not sure how to take it."
-- Another Way
In his experience, waitresses at run-down hole-in-the-wall diners were bitter, tough old chain-smoking broads with bad skin and a few missing teeth, ready to break a beer bottle over anyone's head.
-- Another Way
"Wait, you received a text? And an email before that? I thought you were allergic or something."
-- Another Way
"Don't be scared when you feel you are about to die. You're not frightened when you wake up in the morning, are you? Pretty much the same thing. 'Life is but a dream!'"
-- Another Way
"Sorry, but we have to keep you here for a while. There should be water and beer in the fridge. Help yourself."
"Where are you going? Who are these people? What the hell is going on?!"
-- Last Train Out
"'Violence, when done properly, is a work of art' — Dmitry Shepkin."
-- Last Train Out
"I told you your sense of humor would get you killed!"
"You should see the other guy."
-- Last Train Out
"This has got to be the stupidest thing I've ever done, but I can't let you go up there alone, so let's go."
-- Last Train Out
"Cruel? So what?"
-- Operation Detour
"He's happy to see me."
"Of course he is happy to see you. He would be happy to see the devil himself at this point. You ever spent a night in a Malaysian jail?"
-- Operation Detour
"I don't normally harass complete strangers, let alone pour my heart out to them. I'm probably still in shock. Not responsible for my actions, and all that."
-- Operation Detour
"I will put you and your boyfriend on The List if need be. Either you kill him or lock him up forever, or I send in someone else who can. Is that clear?"
-- Operation Detour
"Your charmed life is, well, no longer charmed."
-- Operation Detour
"Do you fly to Malaysia?"
"No, but Malaysian Air at the next window does."
-- Operation Detour
"Revenge, as they say... Oh, who cares what they say."
-- Operation Detour
"You do that again, sunshine, and I will leave you dead on the floor."
-- Operation Detour
"You look different somehow. New haircut? Gain weight?"
-- Operation Detour
"All dishes licked clean by pugs! And run through the dishwasher, too!"
-- The Lazy Pug Cafe
"Hey, you pugs! You don't need to water me! Especially with that!"
-- The Lazy Pug Cafe
"Pugs rule!"
-- The Lazy Pug Cafe

The Lazy Pug Cafe -- As recently as a few months ago, the Lazy Pug Café was nothing more than a dilapidated old two-story farmhouse. Set back just forty yards from the road – closer than most out in the country – it had a beautiful old weeping willow in front and a massive ancient oak tree out back. Abandoned years ago, the old estate's only purpose lately had been to serve as a sad but charming reminder of days gone by. Locals witnessing its resurrection these past few months were grateful someone was finally bringing the "old girl" back to life.